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Jokes
Mar 23, 2012 10:01:41 GMT -5
Post by Ros on Mar 23, 2012 10:01:41 GMT -5
I was wondering the other day what our parents must have done for entertainment before television and the internet.
I asked my 38 brothers and sisters, but none of them had any ideas either.
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I almost talked my way out of a speeding ticket today by telling a police woman she looked fit.
Things went sour when I added, "And that's not just the booze talking, either!"
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Jokes
Mar 28, 2012 4:23:31 GMT -5
Post by alan on Mar 28, 2012 4:23:31 GMT -5
Tap in " Borat anthem Kuwait " and check out the bbc showing a Kazakh gold medal winner listening to Borats version of their national anthem......somebody downloaded it by mistake and the Borat movie is banned in Kuwait! ;D
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Jokes
Apr 2, 2012 9:45:42 GMT -5
Post by Ros on Apr 2, 2012 9:45:42 GMT -5
A woman walked into the bedroom and saw her husband on his knees next to the bed.
"What are you praying for," she asked.
"Guidance."
"Pray for stiffness. I'll guide it in myself."
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Jokes
Apr 2, 2012 10:47:00 GMT -5
Post by meguro on Apr 2, 2012 10:47:00 GMT -5
(Sigh) Women and their need to, ahem, micro manage. ;D
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GJEC
Member
LOUGHBOROUGH ENSHIN
Posts: 3,218
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Jokes
Apr 9, 2012 3:22:48 GMT -5
Post by GJEC on Apr 9, 2012 3:22:48 GMT -5
A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks
him, "Are you allergic to anything?"
He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."
"Have you ever served in the military?"
"Yes," he says, "I was in Iraq for two years."
The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment."
Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"
The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles."
The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Okay. You've got enough points for
me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm. You
can start tomorrow at 10:00 am, and plan on starting at 10:00 am every
day."
The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00
pm, why do you want me here only from 10:00 am?"
"This is a government job," the interviewer says. "For the first two hours,
we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in
you coming in for that."
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Jokes
Apr 9, 2012 11:00:04 GMT -5
Post by MMX on Apr 9, 2012 11:00:04 GMT -5
That is a good one Gary.
LMAO.
;D
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Jokes
Apr 12, 2012 1:47:41 GMT -5
Post by Ros on Apr 12, 2012 1:47:41 GMT -5
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GJEC
Member
LOUGHBOROUGH ENSHIN
Posts: 3,218
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Jokes
Apr 12, 2012 2:55:40 GMT -5
Post by GJEC on Apr 12, 2012 2:55:40 GMT -5
Love it - and so true!
Gary
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GJEC
Member
LOUGHBOROUGH ENSHIN
Posts: 3,218
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Jokes
Apr 22, 2012 10:05:35 GMT -5
Post by GJEC on Apr 22, 2012 10:05:35 GMT -5
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Jokes
Apr 23, 2012 8:14:47 GMT -5
Post by Ros on Apr 23, 2012 8:14:47 GMT -5
Good afternoon. You're through to The Ramones helpline.
To speak to an operator, please press 1, 2, 3, 4...
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Jokes
Apr 23, 2012 11:07:10 GMT -5
Post by MMX on Apr 23, 2012 11:07:10 GMT -5
HAHA! That is awesome! ;D
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GJEC
Member
LOUGHBOROUGH ENSHIN
Posts: 3,218
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Jokes
May 8, 2012 5:41:40 GMT -5
Post by GJEC on May 8, 2012 5:41:40 GMT -5
Such an unfair world:- When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its £2.50/min (charges may vary).
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Jokes
May 17, 2012 10:17:16 GMT -5
Post by Ros on May 17, 2012 10:17:16 GMT -5
"My husband bought me some flowers yesterday"
"Aww, that's romantic"
"Well, you say that. Now I'm going to have to spend the next few nights with my legs open"
"Why on earth don't you use a vase like everyone else?"
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Jokes
May 17, 2012 10:56:42 GMT -5
Post by MMX on May 17, 2012 10:56:42 GMT -5
Ba dum dum dum!
Haha.
;D
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hangtime
Member
Adapt. Evolve. Thrive.
Posts: 202
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Jokes
May 18, 2012 8:16:41 GMT -5
Post by hangtime on May 18, 2012 8:16:41 GMT -5
LMAO, Ros...
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