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Jokes
Mar 8, 2011 7:31:23 GMT -5
Post by Ros on Mar 8, 2011 7:31:23 GMT -5
C'mon, you know we've got to have a thread for jokes! Here's an oldie but goodie to start us off:
There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it. Doctor: What was the problem? Elderly man: Well, you I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing. Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?! Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off the specimen cup
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Jokes
Mar 8, 2011 7:55:10 GMT -5
Post by senshido on Mar 8, 2011 7:55:10 GMT -5
maybe an oldie, but I hadn't heard it...
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Jokes
Mar 8, 2011 8:39:28 GMT -5
Post by Ros on Mar 8, 2011 8:39:28 GMT -5
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wullie
Member
I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, there's no way you can prove anything!
Posts: 725
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Jokes
Mar 8, 2011 8:58:15 GMT -5
Post by wullie on Mar 8, 2011 8:58:15 GMT -5
Enjoyed that Ros thanks for sharing!
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hangtime
Member
Adapt. Evolve. Thrive.
Posts: 202
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Jokes
Mar 8, 2011 9:18:52 GMT -5
Post by hangtime on Mar 8, 2011 9:18:52 GMT -5
Getting the thread started off right, Ros!
OSU!
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Jokes
Mar 9, 2011 13:35:51 GMT -5
Post by MMX on Mar 9, 2011 13:35:51 GMT -5
Topical...
"How much coke has Charlie Sheen done? Enough to kill two and a half men."
haha!
Man.
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Jokes
Mar 9, 2011 19:29:03 GMT -5
Post by walshy on Mar 9, 2011 19:29:03 GMT -5
Was doing some cooking the other day when i got a load of herbs in my eyes....i'm now parsley sighted!!!
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Jokes
Mar 9, 2011 19:30:17 GMT -5
Post by walshy on Mar 9, 2011 19:30:17 GMT -5
Exit signs - they're on the way out aren't they?
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Jokes
Mar 9, 2011 19:34:06 GMT -5
Post by walshy on Mar 9, 2011 19:34:06 GMT -5
I was walking down the road the other day and I saw this advert in the window that said “Television for Sale – £1- Volume Stuck On Full”. I thought: “I can’t turn that down”.
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Jokes
Mar 9, 2011 21:06:08 GMT -5
Post by MMX on Mar 9, 2011 21:06:08 GMT -5
Ahhh those are great Walshy! I liked the Parsely one.
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fatjoe
Member
Just for Kicks
Posts: 98
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Jokes
Mar 9, 2011 21:40:44 GMT -5
Post by fatjoe on Mar 9, 2011 21:40:44 GMT -5
A little bold, as I posted it in the past but took it down.....if it is to much please delete it!
In 1997, Harvard funded a study to see why the head of a penis was bigger than the rest of it. After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.
After the U.S. published the study, Sweden decided to do their own. After $250,000.00, and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.
Poland, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of around $75.46, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.
=
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Jokes
Mar 9, 2011 21:45:27 GMT -5
Post by MMX on Mar 9, 2011 21:45:27 GMT -5
Wrong but funny Joe!! Haha.
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evergrey
Member
Get over yourself, mate.
Posts: 854
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Jokes
Mar 10, 2011 0:11:20 GMT -5
Post by evergrey on Mar 10, 2011 0:11:20 GMT -5
I think it's hilarious, Joe!
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Jokes
Mar 10, 2011 2:26:35 GMT -5
Post by alan on Mar 10, 2011 2:26:35 GMT -5
Only Britaincould send a Royal Navy ship named after a pork sausage to rescue British citizens from a Muslim country!!
God speed H.M.S Cumberland!!!
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GJEC
Member
LOUGHBOROUGH ENSHIN
Posts: 3,218
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Jokes
Mar 10, 2011 3:28:24 GMT -5
Post by GJEC on Mar 10, 2011 3:28:24 GMT -5
That's classic Alan!
A scientist has invented a bra that stops all jiggling while jogging and completely conceals nipple erections in cold weather.
His co-workers have given him a severe beating.
Gary
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