GJEC
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LOUGHBOROUGH ENSHIN
Posts: 3,218
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Post by GJEC on Aug 24, 2012 4:20:30 GMT -5
;D I don't mind criticism for stuff I do wrong - that's what wives are for - but I must admit it's tough taking hits for stuff we do right. My usual response is "I'm sorry you feel that way. Would you be happier training at another club?" On using that today I got, "No I'd be happier if you listened to reason". After I put the phone down I burst out laughing. I am not the most reasonable person in the world, fair point. But in relation to its size our club has done very well indeed despite my 'tunnel vision'. How do other instructors deal with criticism? I know what I'd like to say, but in this day and age we need diplomacy if we want to keep open ... Gary
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Post by alan on Aug 24, 2012 7:38:14 GMT -5
Who am i to suggest to you how to go about things but after having had that said to me i would feel quite flattered, i would rather have a face to face than a telephone conversation with that person... Peoples eyes give away their true feelings...just me but i would talk things through and explain why i thought i was right but also listen to what`s being said in case i was wrong..... And then knock him out!!
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Post by Ros on Aug 24, 2012 7:40:50 GMT -5
I too, have to button my lip at work sometimes. This is how I now try and deal with unjustified criticism:
1. Listen attentively and don't get defensive 2. When they have outlined their issues ask them how they think it could be solved to their satisfaction 3. Tell them nicely why their solution can't happen 4. Finish off with 'I'm sorry you feel that way, you're more than welcome to...(train elsewhere in this case)'.
Sounds like you're doing all that anyway. Maybe you could tell them that you don't deal with complaints over the phone and could they put it in writing - that might put them off!
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GJEC
Member
LOUGHBOROUGH ENSHIN
Posts: 3,218
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Post by GJEC on Aug 24, 2012 9:22:17 GMT -5
I too, have to button my lip at work sometimes. This is how I now try and deal with unjustified criticism: 1. Listen attentively and don't get defensive 2. When they have outlined their issues ask them how they think it could be solved to their satisfaction 3. Tell them nicely why their solution can't happen 4. Finish off with 'I'm sorry you feel that way, you're more than welcome to...(train elsewhere in this case)'. Sounds like you're doing all that anyway. Maybe you could tell them that you don't deal with complaints over the phone and could they put it in writing - that might put them off! Sounds like a plan. Can I put you in charge of the 'complaints department'? Gary
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Post by Ros on Aug 24, 2012 9:25:19 GMT -5
Sounds like a plan. Can I put you in charge of the 'complaints department'? Only if you make it 'Complaints, Grammar and Cake Department!' ;D
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GJEC
Member
LOUGHBOROUGH ENSHIN
Posts: 3,218
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Post by GJEC on Aug 24, 2012 9:28:50 GMT -5
Consider yourself hired.
In reality though Ros, I have a picture of you listening politely and then smiling as you say "Don't be such a ****"
;D ;D ;D
Gary
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Post by Ros on Aug 24, 2012 9:36:12 GMT -5
I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. ;D
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Post by powerof0ne on Aug 24, 2012 20:26:20 GMT -5
I have standards set for the dojo, the only time I've had issues with members is when one or two felt they should be promoted in rank. Long story short, I didn't agree with them, and recommended the nearby Shotokan dojo, or that they check out another dojo of their choosing, because it wasn't going to happen.
There is a lot more to this story, but I don't want to use this as a place to talk bad about students, or former students...or any place for that matter.
I've yet to have a student tell me some criticism that I agreed with, but in all honesty if they did it with tact, and in private away from other students, and their criticism made better sense, I would do it.
99% of my students seem to like how I teach, and what I teach them, so I'm not too worried about the 1%. The way I look at it is, with anything, if you do something right, you'll never please everybody. Not saying I'm perfect, because I definitely know I'm not LOL. Osu!
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curlbroscience
Member
Testing the waters. Thanks for the forum MMX!
Posts: 1,517
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Post by curlbroscience on Aug 24, 2012 23:46:25 GMT -5
We can question our Sensei?
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GJEC
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LOUGHBOROUGH ENSHIN
Posts: 3,218
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Post by GJEC on Aug 25, 2012 1:31:10 GMT -5
Anyone can question me at any time. I like to think I'm quite approachable, unlike some of my old instructors. But there is one vital principle that I wont compromise on that every now and again raises objections. People have to turn up regularly and make an effort. If someone rings up and explains that in THEIR case that is an unreasonable request, I explain my reasoning. If they can't agree or see the benefits, I then ask if they'd be happier at another club. We have no contract either way. People can choose to train with us, we can choose who we train. I've heard every excuse in the book but I can't get my head round people who talk a good game but never want to show up. This particular case was an ex member who - let me be honest - was pretty lazy the first time round, who feels there is "unfinished business". He wants to drop by when he feels like it and get his black belt. Not going to happen. Gary
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Post by powerof0ne on Aug 25, 2012 1:45:46 GMT -5
As a side note, I'd look to point out an advantage a private/commercial dojo has over one being taught at a college/uni/church/etc....ability to much more easily not allow a student not train at that dojo anymore.
My issue with criticism has been for not allowing students decide when they should grade...even after making it an issue letting them know to never ask me to grade. I'm all for promoting students, and want to promote them, and want them to become black belts, but I don't hand that out unless it's deserved for being able to perform under non compliant pressure.
Fortunately, I think I've gotten over this hurdle of mine, and believe my more senior students will let any junior students in on what's going on, in the future. Osu!
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GJEC
Member
LOUGHBOROUGH ENSHIN
Posts: 3,218
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Post by GJEC on Aug 25, 2012 1:54:46 GMT -5
Interesting. I'm the other way with that. I want students to apply to test so we can observe them for a while in general training. That, of course, is no guarantee of success. We all know people who look great in training but can't deliver when it matters. They have to have both.
Gary
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Post by powerof0ne on Aug 25, 2012 3:20:50 GMT -5
If I had a larger dojo, I'd want them apply, and see how they do, but with the current size, I approach them. I'm sure I have this attitude, because this is how it was in the various dojo I trained in. The first dojo I trained in, was a shito ryu dojo, and those were the hardest gradings I ever took, or it at least seemed that way at the time, and still does today LOL. I was given the opportunity to choose grade with the JKF, USANKF, etc. but my parents couldn't afford that, and it wasn't worth it...and that was at the time, at least, to grade for a grade you already held! I'm very easy when it comes to my students grading, they show up on a regular basis, train, and miraculously, they start to get a bit better, more better, and voila, I approach them to grade. While I'm on this subject, if I was to get about 20-30 more students this year, I may start to allow them to apply to grade....but I'd probably use an attendance card system to do so. I never really dared questioning my sensei, but I did ask them questions I have been fortunate to have some pretty good sensei, even if in hindsight I now realize some of them were very close minded, but they were still very good at what they did. One of my students over the past few weeks has thanked me, that I don't hand out belts like a "mcdojo" he trained at before he trained under me. He told me I removed the "smoke and mirrors" from fighting for him, which I have to admit, makes me happy . I can't imagine that you hear much criticism Gary, but who said my imagination is spot on . However, I do realize, that the more students an instructor has, the more opportunity we have for all sorts of scenarios. Osu!
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GJEC
Member
LOUGHBOROUGH ENSHIN
Posts: 3,218
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Post by GJEC on Aug 25, 2012 3:36:10 GMT -5
Happily most of the criticism I get - although it's not stuff I really stress about - is when people don't want to raise their level and expect me to give them 'special' treatment.
I hear all the excuses, shifts, family, age blah di blah, but when I point out 1) I worked shifts for 31 years and ran the club, swapping shifts as necessary. 2) I have three children of my own that occasionally hear "No. I'm busy tonight" and 3) I tested to 4th Dan (Enshin) at 52 which included some hard fights, they usually get the picture.
I'm not saying I'm special, far from it, just that if I do something I make an effort. That's all I ask from my students.
Gary
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curlbroscience
Member
Testing the waters. Thanks for the forum MMX!
Posts: 1,517
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Post by curlbroscience on Aug 25, 2012 6:44:35 GMT -5
Learning lots without questioning Thanks for the great exchange guys. QFT
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