GJEC
Member
LOUGHBOROUGH ENSHIN
Posts: 3,218
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Post by GJEC on Dec 5, 2013 1:51:28 GMT -5
Life just gets better as you get older doesn't it. I was in a Starbucks Coffee recently when my stomach started rumbling and I realized that I desperately needed to fart. The place was packed but the music was really loud so to get relief and reduce embarrassment I timed my farts to the beat of the music. After a couple of songs I started to feel much better. I finished my coffee and noticed that everyone was staring at me. I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my IPod. This is what happens when old people start using technology.
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Jokes
Dec 5, 2013 7:50:51 GMT -5
Post by senshido on Dec 5, 2013 7:50:51 GMT -5
ah ha ha...
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Jokes
Dec 5, 2013 11:00:40 GMT -5
Post by MMX on Dec 5, 2013 11:00:40 GMT -5
Oh man LMAO Gary!
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Jokes
Dec 5, 2013 13:52:17 GMT -5
Post by meguro on Dec 5, 2013 13:52:17 GMT -5
That was awesome, Gary. You could have blamed it on the barista,"What do you expect?! I asked for a soy latte, they gave me regular."
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GJEC
Member
LOUGHBOROUGH ENSHIN
Posts: 3,218
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Jokes
Dec 12, 2013 13:41:07 GMT -5
via mobile
MMX likes this
Post by GJEC on Dec 12, 2013 13:41:07 GMT -5
Not really jokes but these made me laugh today. (For the first you probably need kids, for the second to understand Fire Brigade humour) 1 George: Mum can you help me wrap this present? Lisa: Why? George: So I can learn how to do it and make sure you don't eat it. Lisa: Good call. 2 At a Retired Firefighters Association function. A few speeches. One said it's great to all meet up without a coffin in the middle.
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wullie
Member
I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, there's no way you can prove anything!
Posts: 725
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Jokes
Dec 13, 2013 8:55:24 GMT -5
Post by wullie on Dec 13, 2013 8:55:24 GMT -5
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GJEC
Member
LOUGHBOROUGH ENSHIN
Posts: 3,218
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Jokes
Dec 13, 2013 13:24:16 GMT -5
Post by GJEC on Dec 13, 2013 13:24:16 GMT -5
UN BE LIEVE ABLE
What a numpty.
It's no wonder people think we dance around in our jammies.
Gary
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wullie
Member
I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, there's no way you can prove anything!
Posts: 725
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Jokes
Dec 13, 2013 15:59:53 GMT -5
Post by wullie on Dec 13, 2013 15:59:53 GMT -5
UN BE LIEVE ABLE What a numpty. It's no wonder people think we dance around in our jammies. Gary aye, we all get tarred with the same brush with idiots like this thought the best bit is asking if they are going to pay to come back the second day lol!
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GJEC
Member
LOUGHBOROUGH ENSHIN
Posts: 3,218
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Post by GJEC on Jan 22, 2014 6:01:16 GMT -5
Just seen four youths in Manchester United shirts playing football with a cat.
Was going to ring the RSPCA then I realised the cat was winning 2:0
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Jokes
Jan 23, 2014 7:46:27 GMT -5
Post by senshido on Jan 23, 2014 7:46:27 GMT -5
You might have to be English to appreciate this one! I saw a crowd of blind people playing football the other day.... how you might ask, well they had a ball with bells on it! quite ingenious I thought. Anyway I cam back an hour later only to find them kicking f@ck out of a morris dancer!!
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Post by alan on Jan 24, 2014 1:33:27 GMT -5
David Moyes has promised the United fans that they WILL be in a European competition next year, even if he has to write the song himself!
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GJEC
Member
LOUGHBOROUGH ENSHIN
Posts: 3,218
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Post by GJEC on Feb 21, 2014 12:39:34 GMT -5
Congratulations to Lizzy Arnold for winning Gold at the Winter Olympics ...
The expert coaching from David Beckham on 'how to ride a skeleton' proved invaluable.
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GJEC
Member
LOUGHBOROUGH ENSHIN
Posts: 3,218
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Post by GJEC on Jun 9, 2014 7:23:44 GMT -5
The England soccer team visited an orphanage today.
"It was so sad seeing their scared little faces with no hope in their eyes"
Said Jose, age 6
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Post by Ros on Dec 5, 2014 10:57:04 GMT -5
The inventor of predictive text has died.
His funfair will be hello on Sundial.
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Jokes
Dec 5, 2014 12:27:01 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by slaine on Dec 5, 2014 12:27:01 GMT -5
The inventor of predictive text has died. His funfair will be hello on Sundial. Ha ha , now that did crack me up and that wasn't predicted.
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